Clash
by Kurokaze-sama
Summary: Called upon to settle the future of the Faudo arc, Zatch and Gash drag their friends on a quest to the notorious VIZ media. But what insanity awaits the dubbed and subbed? Will the universe explode from the outlandish paradox? Probably. Rated for safety.


**... ASDFGHJKL STUPID LINE BREAKS ...**

**Ah ha ha ... well, welcome to the probably the most demented piece of fanfiction you may ever digest. Seriously. Basically, I'm gonna try to set my Tapestry Syndrome aside and write was much crack as I possibly can. So, don't kill me if you find that I stop this. I'll drag it out as long as I can. XD;;**

**So, fyi, what we have here is the delightful little tale of when the two cast of Gash (Dub and Raw) clash, beat the crap out of each other, and try to stop the evil VIZ from taking over the world/their copyrights. It's the furnuggles to my coknockars, whatever that means. And don't be surprised if I throw other characters from other series in here. BECAUSE I CAN. And will.**

**And I know nothing about how VIZ does their stuff. I'm just making it up as I go along. 'Cause it's more fun that way.**

**Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING. The only thing that's mine is the idea, and the writing itself. Plus, I HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH VIZ OR THEIR DUBS. And teh Telbolt dude is fictional, of course. ... Though if I'm gonna get sued for this, let me know, and I'll take this down. :D;;**

**Now, without further adieu, here's my crap.**

**Chapter 1: The Message**

"… You want to talk to us?"

Kiyo nervously glanced out the kitchen window, hoping that he had misunderstood the man on the other line of the call. It had been five days since he and the gang had returned from the Devolo ruins, and he was positive that everyone was still just tired as he was, especially Wonrei, who had been released from the hospital, Li-en had said, a mere 18 hours ago. Even Kiyo's own strength from within had yet to fully return; this lingering feeling of emptiness the Red Book created had caused him to stay home a couple days after his mother was done patching him up. No one should've been in any position to go anywhere, he figured.

"… Hello?" Kiyo called through the house phone.

"Yes, we would appreciate it if the twelve-"

"Eleven," the teen corrected, taking the moment of silence that followed to remember Kido._ I wonder what Dr. Riddles is up to …_

"We would appreciate it," the man on the other end of the line grunted. "If the eleven of you would head over to the studio. There are some pieces of the next arc that we would like to discuss."

"What?" Kiyo's face became distorted. "There's _more_?!"

"But of course."

Kiyo said nothing, waiting for a continuation of words, an extra thought to grasp onto.

"Mr. Takamine? Are you still there?"

Nothing.

"Look," the owner of the read book started, anger seeping into the telephone. "You can't just follow us around everywhere we go, and run cheap shows off of our pain! Besides, _no one's _in _any_ mood to do _anything_!"

"… We have a contract, Kiyo Takamine."

"I don't care!!"

"As the sold property of Mr. Makoto Raiku, you are authorized to _only_ follow the contract."

Kiyo pinched the bridge of his nose.

"… Fine. I'll do the best I can."

"Good," the man said. "Three o' clock. Tomorrow." The line went dead soon after.

"Wait, three o' clock? Tomorrow?! Hold on!!" A low-pitched buzz ran through the teen's side of the call. "Darn!"

"What's wrong, Kiyo?"

A little blonde boy with brilliant golden eyes bounced into the room, cocking his head in the slightest of ways. After perching himself on one of the wooden chair next to the kitchen table, he got his first good look at his partner's face, which seemed completely swamped over with stress. "You look kinda upset," he said.

"It's those guys from VIZ," Kiyo sighed, putting the phone back in its receiver. "They want to see us back in America, stat."

"What? How come?" the blonde asked.

"They said something about 'discussing the next arc', er whatever."

The child in the seat suddenly appeared baffled. "What? There's _more_?!"

"I know …" Kiyo placed himself into the seat next to the blonde. "Don't worry about it, Zatch. Just let the adults figure it out."

"But Kiyo," Zatch said, scooting to face the human. "You're not an adult."

Kiyo took a long, deep breath, and sighed, attempting to release his frustration. "Just forget about it, Zatch." He stood from the seat and made his way out of the kitchen.

"Uh, Kiyo?"

"I'm gonna go book us a flight."

"Okay!" the mamodo smiled. Let me help!" Zatch hopped off of his own seat to follow him, trailing through the bland halls and stairs of the Takamine residence in order to catch up to his agitated partner. But by the time the child had reached the door to Kiyo's bedroom, it had been locked shut, leaving the child to experience nothing more than the muffled cries and minuscule thumps of an angry teen.

--

"Nu? A meeting?"

"Yeah." Kiyomaro walked through the hallway and back over to the telephone, followed by Gash, would was quietly fidgeting with his bow. The two took a stance beside the table with the phone. "I got a message from those 'VIZ' guys, asking us to come to this address tomorrow morning." Kiyomaro held up a slip of paper that he had illegibly scribbled on.

"…?"

"They said that everyone else would be invited, too." After placing the paper on the table, Kiyomaro bent down and pressed various buttons on the telephone, attempting to access the answering machine. Success was marked by the beginning of a small, automated speech:

"Good morning, -Takamine-sama-. You have -one- new message sent -today- at -7:48 am-."

Tones were changed as the message commenced. Kiyomaro signaled for his blonde partner to pay attention.

"Good Afternoon, Takamine Kiyomaro-san. This is Steven Telbolt of VIZ Media. As you are aware, we are currently in the process of building a substitute program for the Japanese television series: _Konjiki no Gasshu Beru,_ as well as its father manga, _Konjiki no Gasshu_. It seems as though he have reached a stopping point in Zophise Arc, and wish to consult both casts, as well as the author, on our next move. Since we are aiming at a younger viewing audience, a compromise must be made in order to minimize the amount of violence, or themes that circulate around such, without actually disturbing the overall story.

If you and your demon partner, Gash Bell-san, would fly over to the following address, then VIZ would be happy to host a meeting on the show's behalf. The ad–"

It was at this point that Kiyomaro lifted the phone, and hung it up, thus ending the message.

"So …" Gash started. "We're going to go to … where?"

"America," the teen replied, dimming his eyes with dissatisfaction as he review his blobs of katakana.

"America?! Really?!" The demon seemed beside himself with excitement, his face lighting up the instant the words left his mouth.

"Well, doesn't seem like we have much of a choice," said a sighing Kiyomaro. "Though this'll destroy my savings, 'cause it's not like they're giving us tickets er anything."

"But look at the bright side," Gash said, trailing his partner, who had begun his ascent up the stairs. "We're going to America! We could go see all kind of amazing American things while we're there! Like the Statue of Liberty, or Grand Canyon, or the Eippel Tower!"

"The _Eiffel Tower_, Gash," Kiyomaro corrected, opening the door to his bedroom. "Is in France."

"Oh! Can we go there, too?!"

"No."

And suddenly, a large slamming noise exploded in front of the child, causing him to reel back a few inches before hitting the wooden floor with a "thump". Kiyomaro had closed the door on Gash. And, after a few attempted turns at the knob, it was discovered that he had also gone so far as to lock the door on him as well.

"Unu …" Gash sat in front of his partner's door for a while, waiting for Kiyomaro's return, but was only able to pick grunts of frustration, and a few distasteful words through the crack beneath the large wooden block. "Wait …" The blonde quickly stood up and knocked quite audibly on the teen's door.

"Kiyomaro? What's a 'VIZ'?"

--

**... BWAHAHA. XD**

**I think it's safe to say that I've lost all my sanity. Probably left it over in Fairyland ...**

**Anyway, hope you (mildly) enjoyed this. Keep in mind that the best is yet to come ...!**


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